Unlike questions that are demanding and require a specific right or wrong answer (or imperative language as it's known), declarative language has no right or wrong answer. It doesn't even necessarily require a response. Instead, it invites a child to share in an experience and it helps kids take note of what may be important and to observe what's going on around them. Carrying an object with a favoured scent (eg. candle, soap, pillow or spraying a sleeve or handkerchief) for those who become distressed by unfamiliar or unpleasant smells What's dad cooking for supper?" ➡ "I think I smell lasagna!" or "I wonder what's on the meal plan for supper tonight."

The author does a nice job putting on display concepts such as episodic memory development for children, situational awareness, patience in light of children slowly attaining concepts, framing language for children in declaratives (perhaps the obvious one) and the associated benefits, and allowing children to explore their environment/ be stewards of their own learning about the world around them. Her writing style is basic, but to the point. As such, it’s a nice light read but nothing to write home about grammatically/ you won’t be swept away by CS Lewis-level “quotables”. The theories and examples are very similar to other strong parenting works I would recommend slightly ahead of this one (although this is a nice supplement); (1) The Whole Brain Child by Siegel and Bryson and (2) Montessori Toddler by Davies.

Supporting emotional well-being

Each time we speak, we have the opportunity to choose our words. Speaking in a thoughtful way means that we are choosing words that will invite and empower individuals with social learning differences to feel connected, feel competent, and feel understood while learning and being guided outside their comfort zone, at a pace that is manageable to them. When we pause to think about what we say and how we say it, our learners in turn stop to think about what they say or do in response. In this training, participants will be shown a speaking style called declarative language that can be naturally used within social interactions to encourage connection and learning across areas of perspective taking, flexible thinking, problem solving, and experience sharing. Teaches visual referencing and observation skills (e.g., "I think your shirt is on inside out because I can see the tag here." instead of "Is your shirt on inside out?") Sanctions or consequences may feel unjust when behaviours are a question of “can’t” not “won’t”, and may appear controlling and arbitrary when not directly related to the behaviours in question (e.g. what connection is there between not being allowed on electronics and being mean to a friend?) – they tend to lead to confrontation and escalation. Natural consequences which flow from behaviours (e.g. a friend not wanting to play or not being able to watch TV if it got broken during a meltdown) enable lessons to be learned in a more realistic way. When everyone is calm, discussing ways to avoid difficult situations from arising in future is another way for natural consequences to unfold.

Be clear and precise whilst being indirect – for example “I wonder if you could help me. I need four blue cups, from that cupboard, to be put on the table in the kitchen”. Remember, declarative language is about making comments or statements, not about asking questions. So one way to get started with declarative language is to take the question you were going to ask and turn it into a statement instead.Meet your learner where they are in each moment, and don’t be afraid to give it a try, no matter where they are at in their language development. Finally! An easy to read book that meets parents and educators 'in the trenches' with information and strategies that help our kids learn critical thinking, social problem solving and executive functioning skills. This book is proof of how making small shifts in our language can have far reaching results." I recommend that parents trying the advice in this book tread very carefully. While imperative language may invite conflict, declarative language can just as easily invite frustration. If your goal is to prompt observation of the child's surroundings without expecting a specific outcome, you'll be fine. If you expect your child to guess that they need to stand in line or clean up their room based on vague comments, you might be sorely disappointed.

Tie your shoes." ➡ "I notice that your shoelaces are untied." or "I think you forgot something when you put your shoes on."Declarative statements can be simple sentences (“Wow! It’s a dinosaur!”), or more complex (“I can tell you are thinking a lot about dinosaurs right now!”). They can be about the present (“Looks like you have math homework to do…”), or about the past (“I remember you had a lot of homework last night. So glad you got it done!”). We can use declarative language to celebrate (“We did it!”), and we can use it to plan for the future (“I am really looking forward to hanging out with you next week”). A note before I begin, I read this book as someone not trained in working with Autism. The book can be reas, and I’m told be SLP’s close to me in my life, that it often is read, both for the purposes of parenting an autistic child and parenting tips broadly. Here I write about the latter although hopefully it is largely applicable to the former.*

In addition, we’d like to draw your attention to these additional sources of information, topics or fields of study which we feel are helpful in furthering understanding about PDA.TV/books/gaming can be a good way to learn about emotions, relationships and social dynamics, and enable our children to develop understanding and skills, in a more indirect way.